In September I’ll be turning thirty for the first time in my life. People tell me that thirty just isn’t what it used to be. My friends say that They are saying (who is saying?) that thirty is the new twenty. To test Their wisdom (They are so smug), I begin a highly scientific evaluation of this trendy hypothesis and translate it into layman’s terms.
Reasons why thirty might be the new twenty:
1. I’m older than my parents were when they got married, but I live in a big house with several friends with whom I throw parties, drink beer and procrastinate.
2. I wake up more or less when I want to, spend my weekdays around a university, and see my mom most days of the week.
3. I don’t floss.
4. I take whopping chunks of summer vacation. I laugh my best, most carefree you-must-be-confusing-me-with-someone-who-cares laugh when encouraged to start thinking about retirement savings.
5. My girlfriend and I are going to live abroad for a year.
These photos were taken at about 17 and 29, close enough for this scientist. Note the same single raised eyebrow, same weird curly hair, same vaguely smug expression. There are even 2 youthful pierced ears now instead of one. In fact, evidence shows my style has clearly regressed. Very interesting . . .
Reasons why thirty might NOT be the new twenty:
1. I think my joints actually are starting to ache more right before it rains.
2. When I sleep less than seven hours in a night I spend the next day wondering if I’m getting sick.
3. I am in charge of my own work schedule. I regularly write up proposals and invoices. I pay estimated taxes.
4. I have had two surgeries, one near-fatal illness, and my first cholesterol test.
5. My girlfriend and I are going to live abroad for a year. Gulp.
In other news, longtime reader Carrie Fletcher seems to have identified the mystery object from the Museum of Natural History in my most recent “Photos” post. Fletch, going to the Museum of Natural History is definitely not cheating, it’s total dedication! Just identify the object in a comment on this post and I will sing your praises as promised.